I know I shouldn't be stressing over the preliminaries, but I am. Forgive me.
I can't help but feel really uncomfortable about it all. I can't help but worry and stress... and I can't help procrastinating either, but that's beside the point.
Why I'm worrying about something that doesn't even count towards anything is beyond me.
I did really bad in my Modern History exam :( And for some reason, I'm really upset about that. I did crap in my English Advanced, too, but since I don't really like the subject, I don't *really* mind. WHY DO I FAIL AT EVERYTHING?! FUCK.
I wish I could fast forward time to Thursday afternoon. I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THURSDAY NIGHT. FREEDOM!!! I love freedom. I am in love with freedom. I can't live without it. I just wish I had more of it. But then again, I probably wouldn't appreciate it so much, and I'd get bored and my ennui would kill me. I am never satisfied with anything. I can't stand the mundane, but I can't stand hyperactivity either. What do I want?
Whatever. I still want my freedom.
I want to read. Bloody hell. Is that really so much to ask for?!
Oh yeah, and stress balls don't work for me. THEY NEVER WORK. I dig my nails into them and it doesn't release any of my stress. In fact, I just stress more because I get so distracted.
3 comments:
I know how you feel, exams stress me out so much! Hang in there though, come Thursday you can relax and read some lovely books (:
i hate not having time to read. but one good thing comes from it, i always appricitate that first book that i just sit and read in one go so much more. i hadn't read a book in ages and then i just sat and read one and it felt so good.
By the time I got to the first, and only, set of major, life-changing exams at school, I knew I wasn't headed for an academic career anyway, so I didn't give a toss. I spent most of the exam period watching the women tennis players at Wimbledon. My priorities were finding themselves. Women's legs were, and remained, firmly at the top of the list. Never looked back.
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